Supports for Grieving Part 2: Children

Supports for Grieving Part 2: Children

Wednesday, August 27, 2025

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Image: Helen and Joshua, Christmas Eve 1998

Supports for Grieving Part 2: Children by Gail K. Kachnycz on 27 August 2025

     In the post earlier this month, I shared a composition by my son Joshua. My mother lived with us from the time he was a toddler until he was starting third grade. A retired kindergarten teacher and lover of books, she taught Joshua to read the summer between kindergarten and first grade using phonics. He has been a wordsmith ever since then, and currently makes an income recording audible versions of books. However, since she had been a part of his life on a daily basis, her death was that much more difficult. I, of course, was also dealing with the loss of my mother and I don't know that I had enough emotional strength to help him as well. Today's post shares resources for helping children through their grieving. First, Joshua has given me permission to share this essay he wrote in 6 th grade, three years after her death.

GRANDMA GONE by Joshua Kachnycz November 2002

     One Thursday in third grade was a particularly wonderful day. I did not have a lot of homework, I had handed in all of my work for the day, and I was looking forward to getting home.

     [At dismissal time] I looked around to try to see my mom, but instead saw my dad sitting on the steps to the upper yard. As I approached him, I could see a few tears in his eyes and I asked him what was wrong. He said that he would tell me after we walked to the van. So we walked to the van, I opened the door, and tossed my backpack in the middle seat. I jumped into the van and my dad stood by the door.

     "Grandma...Grandma was in a car accident and she is in the hospital now," my dad said. At hearing that I broke into tears. I cried rivers, no lakes, no oceans of tears for probably the next half-hour. When I finally stopped I felt like I had a coconut lodged in my throat. My eyes were red and I couldn't see very well because of all the tears. After that we drove home.

     When my dad and I arrived home we found out from my mom that grandma had a broken arm, broken ribs, and a damaged lung. My grandma was on a machine that helped her breathe in the hospital for two months.

     On December 7, 1999 the doctors had to pull the plug for my grandmother's machine. Once I found out that my grandmother was gone it felt like my entire world was crumbling around me, like I had a hole in me the size of a tractor. However, not everything was as bad as it seemed. That summer I went to a family reunion in Illinois and moved to Wyndmoor where I made a lot of new friends.

RESOURCES:

In the Philadelphia area: Uplift Center for Grieving Children

Mr. Rogers, an ordained Presbyterian minister, and known for his role in the program "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood," has said, "I've come to believe that anything human is mentionable, and anything mentionable can be manageable." I'm listing several programs and a book by him.

These materials can be obtained from 

Family Communications, Inc. 4802 Fifth Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15213 (412-687-2990)

Booklet and video program: Talking With Young Children About Death by Fred Rogers

Book: When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers, Program: "Death of a Goldfish" Mr. Rogers Neighborhood

Mr. Rogers speaks on children's grief 

 

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Emergency Preparation: BHG Article

Emergency Preparation: BHG Article

Wednesday, August 20, 2025

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Emergency Preparation: BHG Article

     As this post is being published, the Jersey shore is being pounded with high surf generated by Hurricane Erin. Because Hurricane Season reaches its peak in September, revisiting preparing for emergencies is a good idea. In home care and at school, the nurse always had a "Go Bag" packed with essentials that was ready to take should the client need to evacuate quickly. The bag should be checked on a regular basis, say, on "the 15 th of the month" or, "the second Saturday of the month." Set a reminder on your phone and make it a routine. Here is an article from Better Homes & Gardens on preparing for emergencies.

12 Critical Supplies

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SANDWICH GENERATION

SANDWICH GENERATION

Thursday, August 14, 2025

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Image: Family Christmas Eve 1998

SANDWICH GENERATION by Gail K. Kachnycz on 14 August 2025

     Quite often, someone caring for an elderly parent also has children in the home. Being responsible for the care of both the old and the young can include difficulties, and those in the middle can feel sandwiched, or pressed, in more ways than one. For support and resources, please see these previous posts:

Introducing...A Boomer Hero 

How to Care for Aging Parents 

     Along with the responsibilities and concerns, there are advantages and benefits. Depending on their level of function, the grandparents and grandchildren can enjoy time together and "have an impact." My mother lived with us when my son Joshua was age two to eight years. He has given me permission to share this essay which he wrote in 6 th grade at age 11. Of course I am biased, but I think he was quite articulate. Helen was not his great-grandmother, but she was "great."

GREAT GRANDMOTHER by Joshua Kachnycz, November 2002

     My grandmother was always someone I looked up to, someone who was always there for me-up until December 7, 1999, but that is an entirely different story.

     My grandmother, Helen Kimbleton, has made a very large impact on my life. Here are some examples of ways that my grandmother has impacted me.

     When I was four and five I loved to have her read to me. This gave me my great adoration for reading, which I do every day. Every Thursday during the summer my grandma and I would go to the library and the playground across the street from it.

     The playground was typical with monkey bars, slides, poles, and basketball hoops. I would play there for hours upon hours in that playground. But there was one feature that most other playgrounds did not have that I loved the best. It was a baseball field where I could practice my swing. My grandmother and I might play catch or she would pitch to me and I would swing. This inspired me to spend most of my free time outside.

     My grandmother and I sometimes went on walks and planted some trees. She taught me how to take care of plants and gave me a baby tree which I named "Woody." He is still planted in the backyard of my old house. This motivated me to care more about nature.

     All of these things that my grandmother inspired me to do are things that I still do to this day so that her memory will live on in my heart.

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Cancer Overlap with Chronic Illness

Cancer Overlap with Chronic Illness

Thursday, August 7, 2025

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Image: Cancer Color Ribbons accessed 7 August 2025

CANCER OVERLAP WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS by Gail K. Kachnycz 7 August 2025

     Thankfully, today a diagnosis of cancer is not always a death sentence. There are many people who are cancer survivors or in remission. However, the treatment may take months or years. While more targeted than in years past, the surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, and other therapies affect the person in other ways than just eliminating the tumor cells. Cancer treatment has many of the characteristics of chronic illness.

     Fortunately, the network of support for those fighting cancer is strong. Today's post highlights the ribbons/colors for cancer awareness. Certain months of the year are also devoted to increasing knowledge and funding for research for various cancers. During the awareness campaigns, there is often an emphasis on prevention. With new studies, the recommendations for initiating screenings have changed. For example, the age to start screening for colon cancer is now 45 instead of 50. Women of average risk for breast cancer should begin mammograms at age 40.

     Prevention also includes avoiding toxic substances. Recently, several food companies have announced that synthetic food dyes will be phased out in US products, with complete removal targeted for the end of 2027. These dyes may not be linked specifically with cancer, but removing them improves the safety of our foods. You can evaluate ingredients in food & cosmetics using an App called "Yuka." The App can scan products and show what additives are in them. Here is a link to demonstrate the App.

Yuka App

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PECO Medical Certification Waiver

PECO Medical Certification Waiver

Friday, August 1, 2025

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Image: Logo for PECO Electric Company

PECO Medical Certification Waiver, or DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!

by Gail K. Kachnycz on August 1, 2025

     This past Saturday, during the fourth hottest July on record in Philadelphia, I opened a letter from PECO that said: TEN DAY SHUT OFF NOTICE. Of course, the first thing I did was panic, and there followed a series of unfortunate events which were extremely frustrating. Long story short, our electric service has continued uninterrupted, and we are enjoying air conditioned cool in our house, but I would like to spare you a similar scenario by sharing my experience.

     The initial pebble in the pond that began this downward spiral was a breech in our bank account in early May. Thousands of dollars were transferred out of our account. The bank froze all of our accounts for three weeks while a fraud investigation took place. Thankfully, all funds were restored. A friend at church who works in finance told me, "That doesn't always happen. God had your back!" Indeed. We thank God for His favor and grace to us in this situation. After three weeks, the bank advised us to open new accounts. We transferred all funds to the new accounts. However, our Social Security was still being deposited into the old checking account, so we still had to maintain that account until arrangements could be made to change the deposits (this takes about 2 months).

     We had bank cards for the new accounts within 24 hours. I began making calls to all the services and utilities to catch up on payments that came due while our accounts were frozen. The general number for PECO was answered by "AI Lady," that is, an automated menu. I selected "Billing" and paid using the new bank card. The automated menu offered the option: "Save this card for future payments?" I said "Yes." So, when a statement from PECO came that noted, "Automatic Payment Deducted on 7/17/2025" I thought the new bank card was used. Therefore, it was a shock when the shut-off letter arrived July 26. Apparently, PECO kept trying to take payments from the "old" checking account which was frozen.

      The shut-off letter included a statement that electricity would not be shut off if "you or anyone presently and normally living in your home is seriously ill," but certain requirements had to be fulfilled for this type of waiver. The letter listed steps to take, such as having the doctor call and then send a letter. My friend Donna works in a Cardiology practice, and told me an easier way to do this:

1. Have these ready: the PECO account information, the patient's  information, and the name of the practice, the doctor's name, and fax number. 

2. Pack your patience. I was on hold for 45 minutes. Fold laundry or do something you can drop as soon as the service rep answers. The business hours are Monday-Friday, 7 AM-7 PM, but recorded message says there is high volume of calls Mondays and 11 AM-2 PM Tuesday to Friday, so long waits then.

3. Call 1-888-480-1533. This connects you directly to the Credit Department, who handles the waivers. This is not the general PECO number.

4. State that you need a "Medical Certification Form" to be faxed to the doctor's office. 

5. They may ask for the patient's name and address. Also give them the doctor's name and fax number. Ask for the PECO fax number in case the doctor's office does not have it on file.

6. Check if there is a confirmation number for your request/conversation.

7. Contact the doctor's office to alert them that the PECO Medical Certification form is being faxed from PECO.

     The Medical Certification gives a window of 30 days. During that time, the electricity will not be shut off. Meanwhile, the reason for the shut-off can be addressed. 

     Finally, I hope your bank account is never hacked. If you do have to stop your automatic payments, don't trust "AI Lady." Be sure to speak with a real person. Stop the deductions from the old account, and then ask about the process to start automatic payments using your new account.

Trying to stop automatic payments

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