Image: Helen and Joshua, Christmas Eve 1998
Supports for Grieving Part 2: Children by Gail K. Kachnycz on 27 August 2025
In the post earlier this month, I shared a composition by my son Joshua. My mother lived with us from the time he was a toddler until he was starting third grade. A retired kindergarten teacher and lover of books, she taught Joshua to read the summer between kindergarten and first grade using phonics. He has been a wordsmith ever since then, and currently makes an income recording audible versions of books. However, since she had been a part of his life on a daily basis, her death was that much more difficult. I, of course, was also dealing with the loss of my mother and I don't know that I had enough emotional strength to help him as well. Today's post shares resources for helping children through their grieving. First, Joshua has given me permission to share this essay he wrote in 6 th grade, three years after her death.
GRANDMA GONE by Joshua Kachnycz November 2002
One Thursday in third grade was a particularly wonderful day. I did not have a lot of homework, I had handed in all of my work for the day, and I was looking forward to getting home.
[At dismissal time] I looked around to try to see my mom, but instead saw my dad sitting on the steps to the upper yard. As I approached him, I could see a few tears in his eyes and I asked him what was wrong. He said that he would tell me after we walked to the van. So we walked to the van, I opened the door, and tossed my backpack in the middle seat. I jumped into the van and my dad stood by the door.
"Grandma...Grandma was in a car accident and she is in the hospital now," my dad said. At hearing that I broke into tears. I cried rivers, no lakes, no oceans of tears for probably the next half-hour. When I finally stopped I felt like I had a coconut lodged in my throat. My eyes were red and I couldn't see very well because of all the tears. After that we drove home.
When my dad and I arrived home we found out from my mom that grandma had a broken arm, broken ribs, and a damaged lung. My grandma was on a machine that helped her breathe in the hospital for two months.
On December 7, 1999 the doctors had to pull the plug for my grandmother's machine. Once I found out that my grandmother was gone it felt like my entire world was crumbling around me, like I had a hole in me the size of a tractor. However, not everything was as bad as it seemed. That summer I went to a family reunion in Illinois and moved to Wyndmoor where I made a lot of new friends.
RESOURCES:
In the Philadelphia area: Uplift Center for Grieving Children
Mr. Rogers, an ordained Presbyterian minister, and known for his role in the program "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood," has said, "I've come to believe that anything human is mentionable, and anything mentionable can be manageable." I'm listing several programs and a book by him.
These materials can be obtained from
Family Communications, Inc. 4802 Fifth Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15213 (412-687-2990)
Booklet and video program: Talking With Young Children About Death by Fred Rogers
Book: When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers, Program: "Death of a Goldfish" Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
Mr. Rogers speaks on children's grief
